How to become a good listener

Do not try to impress others

Yes, we all crave respect, but too much effort in this area leads us to be misunderstood. Show from the very beginning that you are also vulnerable, honestly reveal who you are, how you think and feel. So you create an environment in which your openness helps you make contact instantly.
Encourage people to talk about themselves

Do not judge people when they reveal themselves to you. Nobody likes this, including you. Encourage others to tell their story, neglecting their own desire to tell something interesting. Those people who allow others to talk further, yielding their turn, are usually considered good interlocutors. It is to them that others turn when they want to be listened to without conviction. And it is they who quickly and successfully build reliable contact.
Listen - and let’s understand it.

To be silent and nod is not enough. FBI negotiators specializing in releasing hostages use a number of techniques to show the kidnappers that they are really listening to them. Here are the most common ones:

    Mirroring Repeat the last 1-3 words of the interlocutor as a question.
    Marking. Give names to the feelings of others. If you repeat the essence of what you heard, and the person replies: “Exactly!”, Then you did well.

Emphasize community

There are lots of studies proving that we like people like us. In every conceivable relationship, from background to word selection, emphasizing similarities strengthens social relationships. When sellers repeat the sign language of their listeners, sales grow by 20%.
Questions give strength

In a conversation it is better to ask open-ended questions. No “yes / no” and generally questions that can be answered in one or two words. Open-ended questions require more words and reflection.

What question should always be kept ready? We all love challenges and difficulties, we love to talk about it. You need to ask about them. Everyone has difficulties and challenges. This encourages people to share their priorities in life at this moment.
Travel, compliments and tips

Traveling is a favorite topic of many, everyone can tell something about it. And you can inspire people with pleasant feelings with sincere compliments.

But what prompts a deeper discussion? In this case, professors recommend asking for advice - this is a powerful way to arouse warm feelings in others in you.
Evoke emotions

Many people think that conversation is just an exchange of information. And they miss the most important thing: emotions. Talk with great enthusiasm, and then every conversation will be remembered.
The most important thing

The main rule that will dramatically increase the likelihood of becoming you as a successful interlocutor: the main thing is not you, but they. The only goal you need to keep in mind is that after each conversation, your interlocutor should feel better by talking to you.


Work.ua wishes you to develop the ability to listen to others. And let your interlocutors feel better after your words.